«She-Hulk»: I’m done with this rubbish!

This review of the first three episodes contains spoilers. So before you read on, watch them first. Or don’t.

She-Hulk twerks. I draw the line at that. That’s why I throw in the towel after three episodes. Whatever Marvel was thinking, I don’t want to be part of it. And I really wanted to like the series. Really. I want to like everything Marvel produces. I love superheroes! I adore Marvel comics. I enjoy almost all movies. I even see the positive aspects of average series such as «Hawkeye» or «Ms. Marvel».

But «She-Hulk» is a slap in my fan face.

The series was written and developed by American writer and producer Jessica Gao. What was probably meant to be her clever and cynical commentary on the role of women in today’s society has degenerated into a crude, preachy movie that has zero respect for its main character – the irony! So why should I take her seriously? My heart bleeds. Even being the Marvel fanboy I am, I can’t take this much nonsense.

The disaster unfolds

Let’s rewind. Jennifer Walters (played by Tatiana Maslany) isn’t only a lawyer, but also Bruce Banner’s (played by Mark Ruffalo) cousin. When Bruce’s and Jennifer’s blood accidentally mix in a car accident, Jennifer also turns into a big, green monster – She-Hulk. Her life as a regular lawyer is over. Instead, she becomes the new head of superhuman law division.

Watching the first few trailers already made me feel uneasy. And this wasn’t because of the story. After all, the trailers did hint at the fact that «She-Hulk» would be tongue in cheek. Something we already got a taste for with «Deadpool». It was more the lousy computer effects that had me bracing myself for a colossal disappointment. And yet, they weren’t even half as bad in the first two episodes.

Unlike everything else.

She-Hulk is the very very best – at everything

What’s the problem? Let’s begin with Jennifer’s literal superiority, which is never explained. Time for a quick recap: In «Endgame», Bruce Banner hurts his arm so badly fighting Thanos that it doesn’t heal – despite his Hulk self-healing abilities. Then his cousin transforms. With her «She-Hulk» DNA, he manages to completely repair his arm.

«That’s because I’m better,» Jennifer notes.

«Let’s agree on different,» Bruce replies.

«So differently better,» Jennifer replies snidely.

Of course, that’s no reason to hate the entire series. But explanation of why Jennifer’s DNA is «better» would’ve been nice. Anyway. Let’s skip to the next scene. We learn that Bruce has taken her to his secret hideout somewhere on a paradise beach in Mexico. Somewhere between «Infinity War» and «Endgame», he developed the controllable Hulk appearance Smart Hulk – a hybrid of Bruce and Hulk. Knowing how dangerous and destructive his alter ego is, he hopes to help his cousin in the same way in this very place. What’s more, he wants to train her up to be a superhero. But Jennifer isn’t a fan of the idea. All she wants is a regular, anonymous life.

But why is that?

Why is Bruce so desperate to make Jennifer a superhero? Why doesn’t Jennifer want to be one? Who knows. In any case, the artificially constructed conflict isn’t there to teach us more about the inner lives of the characters. As an example, Luke Skywalker rebels against Owen’s will in «Star Wars» because he doesn’t want to spend another season as a moisture farmer on Tatooine. Instead, he’s desperate to join the flight academy. Through this, we learn that Luke dreams of great adventures far from his barren home. Dreams that remain unfulfilled – until fate strikes. Gao, on the other hand, constructs her conflict to make Bruce just another man in Jennifer’s life who doesn’t give a toss about what she wants. Like the rest of them, he believes he has to tell her what to do.

But Jennifer agrees in the end. And – surprise! – right off the bat, she’s better than Bruce Banner in pretty much all «Hulk disciplines». Because... reasons. Better DNA and whatnot. Gao’s script still doesn’t bother to conclusively explain this superiority. Instead, she makes Bruce react the way all men do, according to Gao: they get jealous.

I see what Gao’s script is trying to do. Look, men! This is what happens to us women when we’re strong – we’re kept small. Indeed, that is a real problem. Addressing it is important and a good thing. But Gao has constructed a situation to support this statement in which Bruce Banner isn’t behaving the way he has been during the last 15 years of MCU. Instead, she’s trampling all over his character. Surely there are better ways of addressing this. There must be.

Another problem: there’s no development of the main character

This is where Gao makes another mistake. She deprives her own main character of the chance to grow. To develop at all. Her superiority is a constant. Even Jennifer’s girlfriend almost only gets to say phrases such as «you’re the best, you’re the greatest, you’re amazing.» Jennifer’s perfect from the get-go. Not only is that boring, it’s also not particularly likeable. A topic I’ve written about in the past:

Let me give you an example of the opposite: Tony Stark from the first «Iron Man» movie is cool and always has the perfect line. But Tony is also a narcissistic creep. It’s a weakness he must overcome before selflessly risking his life for others. He spends almost two-thirds of the film failing at constructing and learning to use his suit.

Jennifer, on the other hand, has no learning curve. No development. Instead, she’s won a gold medal before the race even started. She even flaunts her superiority. Rubs it in Bruce’s face. That has nothing to do with empowerment. Especially not if said strength was simply handed to you and not earned – let alone explained. All that is is lazy screenwriting.

Who’s pulling whose leg?

It’s one of the few serious scenes in «She-Hulk» that really takes the biscuit. Bruce tries to make one last urgent appeal to Jennifer to make her understand how important it is for them both to control aggression. After all, anger can bring out the Hulk in them. And that means serious danger.

Jennifer’s reaction to this?

Bam! What a blow. Or at least it should be. The only thing is that Jennifer’s words are directed at the totally wrong person.

Firstly, it’s actually Jennifer who’s explaining his area of expertise to Bruce, who’s been Hulk for 15 years, for the entire first episode. Secondly, under normal conditions – hate crimes and femicides are undoubtedly terrible, but they’re not normal conditions – no woman is «literally murdered» for speaking her mind. At least not in our society. For all the problems there are, this is where Gao overshoots the mark by far. And thirdly, being catcalled and patronised by men isn’t remotely on the same level as being ostracised and called a monster by the society you live in and hounded by your own government, as happened to Bruce. Things even went so far that Bruce tried to commit suicide in his misery. But the bullet he puts in his head, «the other guy» Hulk just spits out again. She-Hulk, on the other hand, is instantly loved and adored by society.

So if I know one thing for sure, it’s that Jennifer doesn’t have to control her anger «infinitely more» than Bruce.

Let me recap. I get what Gao’s trying to do. But with all this stupidity, the well-intentioned effect of a monologue that’s actually really powerful just fizzles out. This is because Gao obviously doesn’t know the first thing about her main characters’ backstories. She doesn’t even summon the respect to do a tiny bit of research that would’ve stopped the scene being a telling-off of the person who least deserves it. Bruce was discriminated against as a monster. Jennifer as a woman. That should bring them closer to each other. Forge bonds. Not divide them. Unless you twist and ignore 15 years of MCU, that is.

Like I said, this could be done way better.

The hypothesise: all men are stupid and annoying and evil and dumb

And the worst part? All the above examples are taken exclusively from the first episode. I haven’t even mentioned the dolled-up ladies in the bar, who find Jennifer in the ladies’ room, confused and inured by the car accident. They immediately assume she’s a victim of domestic violence without even asking what happened. This is exactly how Gao, the author, portrays men in this series.

And sadly, even three episodes in, there are no ambassadors for men to be found. Her work colleagues are all arrogant, toxic, sexist, disgusting a-holes. Her boss couldn’t care less about her. Blonsky, her first client and the villain from «The Incredible Hulk», swears he’s purified and gets busy with eight women at the same time. Sorcerer Supreme Wong either plays dumb or must have been imitated by a Skrull, much like Nick Fury back in «Spider-Man: Far From Home». Even cousin Bruce just wants to patronise her.

What’s more, «She-Hulk» increasingly manoeuvres itself into another narrative problem: how is Jennifer Walters supposed to look strong, confident and smart when all the other men in the room are acting like a bunch of pubescent students? Jennifer lacks worthy counterparts who can really hold a candle to her. But Gao doesn’t give this a second thought. To make matters wors, she makes fun of them. For example, when Jennifer’s former work colleague, who’s no charismatic Chris Hemsworth, dares to think he might have an actual chance with American rapper and superstar Megan Thee Stallion. The subtext being that all men are alike in this regard – hopelessly overestimating themselves. Always. Bombshells including She-Hulk and Megan Thee Stallion only smile wearily at this – and viewers are supposed to laugh along with them.

So who’s shallow again?

This childish story line definitely didn’t make me laugh. Instead, I’m constantly amazed at all the irony. Gao’s script often does exactly what she accuses men of doing. For example when Jennifer, who’s constantly struggling for respect and recognition, and Megan Thee Stallion decide to twerk at the workplace. A close-up of her buttocks included. By the way, this has nothing to do with Jennifer being a woman. Remember Tobey Maguire’s cringe-worthy dance scene in «Spider-Man 3»? Same vibes. Same rubbish.

I’m out.

It’s been done way better

My verdict after three episodes of «She-Hulk» is that it’s neither funny nor exciting. «She-Hulk» is embarrassing. The characters behave like idiots. The storyline is poorly written. Things happen for no good reason. And once tragic characters are turned into laughingstock. In general, the series seems to loathe all men. So much so, in fact, that I wonder why I should watch something that apparently thinks so little of me and my gender.

Are there alternatives? Absolutely. For example, Ridley Scott's medieval drama The Last Duel. It’s incredible, as I wrote in my review. Or «The Good Wife» – like «She-Hulk», a lawyer series with a female lead. The difference? It doesn’t portray all men as a-holes. Nor as dumb. So when main character Alicia Florrick gets her own way, it feels like a real triumph. Another alternative? «The Morning Show», which is about #MeToo. And as a man, let me tell you, this series gets under your skin and has opened my eyes in many ways...

No twerking women needed.