Positive thinking: improve your self-confidence to change your life

If you ask a Shaolin monk what the keys to happiness are, he'll tell you quite simply: inner strength and the power of thought. Meditation, work, asceticism, concentration: mastery of the mind is the key to happiness. "Happiness lies within us, not in materialism", according to Buddhist thought.

In fact, science joins Buddhist philosophy in saying that self-confidence can be improved through exercise. And that to increase your personal satisfaction, you therefore need to start by boosting your mind. To find out more, I contacted a neuroscientist, Rebecca Böhme. An assistant professor at Linköping University in Sweden, she has published a book (in German) Mind your Glücksschwein: Mit der Kraft positiver Erwartungen das Leben verändern. So she's the ideal person to explain what obstacles stand between us and happiness, and what advice scientists can give us to improve our confidence in the future. Follow me on this journey towards positive thinking.

The power of thoughts: what stops us from achieving happiness?

As you may know, human beings are often the main obstacle to their own happiness. When we brood endlessly and are convinced that we'll never reach a state of well-being, we often feel like we're living through one unhappy moment after another. Which is just an impression! "In fact, it's likely that we experience as many positive events as negative ones," stresses the expert. But what we remember depends largely on our expectations. For it is on the basis of our expectations that we perceive and interpret our experiences. "You have to be able to take risks and show openness, curiosity and hope. Or, on the contrary, thinking that you're bound to attract the negative. It all has a powerful impact."

Of course, adopting a positive mindset is easy to say. And positive thinking may not be in your character. After all, the brain has a natural tendency to focus on negative facts. "Which, from an evolutionary point of view, makes sense", our specialist points out. "To protect themselves, our ancestors first and foremost had to perceive potential dangers."

Selective perception and the power of expectations

The human body is a huge system that filters external stimuli. Even our nervous system and sensory organs have expectations of our environment. They therefore filter stimuli according to these expectations before transmitting them to the brain. "This enables us to find our bearings in the world around us", Rebecca Böhme reminds us, before adding: "For our ancestors, it was essential to concentrate on negative things. But today, it's more of an unnecessary obstacle."

Rebecca Böhme adds: "Our expectations can influence what we perceive and what we focus on. If we are more concerned with the positive, we will see the positive. Selective perception forges a vision of the world in which confidence or, on the contrary, distrust are constantly validated and reinforced. Positive or negative expectations manifest themselves emotionally, but also physically. This is proven by the placebo and nocebo effects.

Optimism and confidence: why positive thoughts do us good

No one is condemned to bad luck. Sometimes you just need to give luck a little nudge by adopting positive thinking. It works, as shown by happiness research, which found a strong correlation between optimism and perceived happiness. Optimism corresponds to an unshakeable belief that everything will always work out in the end. People who practise positive thinking are also happier than others, conclude the scientists in charge of this study.

Positive thinking: expert advice

The power of positive thinking is much more than a truism. Just as like attracts like, positive thoughts allow you to move forward with confidence. Do you want to stop brooding? You'll need a little patience to see the results of your positive thinking. Rebecca Böhme gives you a few pointers:

1. Mental autonomy

Practising positive thinking is quicker said than done. Especially as, over the course of our evolution, human beings have become accustomed to perceiving the negative above all else. What's more: "Human beings love routine. Behaviour, thought patterns, negative spirals: it all becomes automatic very quickly". To get out of it, you need much more than just the will to think positively. Real mental autonomy is required!

"Which doesn't mean we have to permanently control our thoughts and emotions. The first step is to observe ourselves and notice when we are in a phase of rumination. You can then say no and concentrate on something else. Or, as Rebecca Böhme puts it, "Identify automatisms, reflect on them and thus influence thoughts and emotions. "

A whole process! The ideal thing is to set about it with a clear conscience: "It's essential to remain concrete. For a week, try to take stock twice a day. How far have you got? What are you doing? How are you feeling?"

2. Personal rituals: meditation is a plus

Since we love routines, our behaviour follows automatic patterns. Which is a good thing. Indeed, this regularity means we don't waste too much time figuring out what we're going to eat or how we're going to get to work in the morning. But habits also determine our perception of ourselves and of life. And that's an asset.

Personal rituals can help us practise positive thinking. Take meditation, for example: "There's evidence that people who meditate brood less than others," describes Rebecca Böhme. "Meditation is just one of the tools that can help us to think positively. In her book, the neuroscientist writes that rituals bring us security and emotional stability because of their regularity. They thus help to create positive expectations."

3. Self-incentive

As you already know, our perception is highly selective. Stimuli from our environment are constantly trying to hold our attention. Self-nudging consists of creating a situation that favours a desired behaviour, the idea being to favour certain stimuli. According to Rebecca Böhme, this works because: "Our brain always chooses the easiest way to achieve a result. "If the circumstances encourage a behaviour on your part, it is more than likely that you will adopt it.

Good to know! Our expert gives us a concrete example: if you want to exercise more, place your sports bag right next to your front door. To eat healthier, put healthy foods in plain view in your fridge and hide sweets at the back of your cupboards. "Self-incentive will help you change your behaviour and do things that will increase your sense of happiness, for example by increasing your physical activity or even rebalancing your diet."

4. Go for a walk

It may sound trivial, but a simple walk in the great outdoors can lift your spirits. Walking helps to reduce stress hormones, stop dwelling on your problems and anchor you in the present moment.

"The brain is particularly active when we brood over dark thoughts or worry. By taking a walk in the countryside, you can counteract this negative brain activity."

Not to mention that a walk is an excellent way to strengthen your mental autonomy. It will give you the opportunity to reflect and manage the flow of your thoughts.

5. Say yes to surprises

Cancelling your negative thoughts is the best way to stall out in life. Habits, automatisms and the firmly entrenched certainty that you'll never have a chance in life: all these encourage negativity and put the brakes on risk-taking. Yet moments of happiness are often linked to taking risks and leaving one's comfort zone. "When it finds itself in an unexpected situation, our body secretes dopamine," explains Rebecca Böhme.

This happiness hormone is all the more present when we leave our routines to confront situations that are a priori unpleasant. "There's no need to throw yourself into something extraordinary. Just try to create new windows of opportunity to smile at life. This will encourage the secretion of dopamine. "Accepting risks and opening yourself up to new things: these are avenues that will help you feel inner peace.