The next Mario Kart: you can do better Nintendo! Here’s my take on a new release

Oh nostalgia… sometimes, I can still see myself as a primary school pupil sitting in front of the SNES and running laps in Super Mario Kart. That’s when my love for this game began, and it remains unbroken some 35 years later. Now that the Switch 2 has been officially confirmed, I’m really excited. I finally have the chance to play a new Mario Kart game. In addition, the current version, Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, is already celebrating its tenth birthday. Time for a breath of fresh air! And I already have a few ideas.

More personality for Peach, Bowser, Yoshi and co.

Not only has Mario Kart grown out of its infancy, but the protagonists have also matured. Peach emancipated herself, Bowser shows feelings and Yoshi’s own game «Nintendo Yoshi’s Crafted World» has also made it to the Switch. In it, the cute dinosaur swallows everything that crosses his field of vision. Just a shame that these droll and heart-warming personality traits have hardly been used in Mario Kart so far. The characters have different weight classes, but that’s about it.

So, high time the development team caught up and gave these virtual drivers more character. Here are some of my ideas.

Yoshi

My biggest wish: Nintendo, please let Yoshi eat other vehicles and spit them onto competitors! After all, the dinosaur does little else in the classic platformers. He devours Koopas in one bite and spits them at enemies to knock them out. What’s more, Yoshi has a big mouth, so a vehicle will fit easily. And my green dinosaur fangirl heart would melt too…

Funky Kong

Funky is a deeply relaxed member of the DK crew, which also includes Donkey, Diddy, Dixie and Cranky Kong. I first encountered him in «Nintendo Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze», although he’s been around in the Nintendo universe for a while. The special thing about Funky? He has more health than the other Kongs and can ride over smaller cliffs on his surfboard without getting killed.

In my opinion, Funky would be perfect for a new easy mode in Mario Kart. You can use him to correct unintentional excursions beyond the guardrail and don’t get knocked out as quickly as the other characters when you skid over a banana skin. And if you don’t feel like it, you can always activate smart control, which also makes driving a lot easier.

At the moment, you can only play Funky as an unlockable character in Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, and he’s not a beginner driver. Funky is a big monkey and pretty heavy as a result. He’s sluggish when accelerating and difficult to control when cornering.

Peach

Peach has recently become a clear case of girl power to me. In «Nintendo Princess Peach: Showtime!», the princess has learned some killer moves – including as a kung fu master, swordswoman and ninja. It’d be great if she could also use her new skills in Mario Kart. For example, she could fend off the universally hated blue shell, which almost never misses the leading kart thanks to its merciless targeting. Escaping the feared shell has so far only been possible with a horn (or a lot of luck) – and even that doesn’t work every time.

Bowser

Ever since The Super Mario Bros. Movie, I’ve known there’s a soft heart underneath Bowser’s prickly shell. Perhaps Bowser could show more of himself in a Mario Kart sequel by presenting the winner’s trophy with a tear in his eye. Or by serenading the winners, as he did for his love Peach. This’d give the big and supposedly oh-so-evil turtle even more sympathy points.

Mario and Luigi

The iconic brothers are the heroes of every Super Mario game, yet they remain somewhat bland for me. I just wish Nintendo would come up with something really, really cool. Maybe something to do with an elephant power-up from «Nintendo Super Mario Bros Wonder». The plumbers could turn into pachyderms, sweeping the competition off the road with their trunks.

Video games

EUR69,90

Nintendo Mario Kart 8 Deluxe

2940

Video games

EUR69,90

Nintendo Mario Kart 8 Deluxe

2940

Guest appearances

As a globally connected world, it’s time for the Mushroom Kingdom to open up to other cultures. In Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, the hero from The Legend of Zelda games, Link, was already allowed to ride along. But in my opinion, there are other characters who would’ve deserved a guest appearance.

Sonic the Hedgehog, for example. Sonic has already been a regular on Nintendo’s shelves since Sega withdrew from the console business in 2001. So what’s wrong with letting him do a few laps in Mario Kart too? The hedgehog could puncture the competition’s tyres with his spines – and outrace them all.

And what about Kirby? The cuddly, pink creature was modded into the game back in 2022 by a tinkerer called Riazor MC – and the Mario community loved it! Especially because Kirby could eat his opponents, thus becoming Carby. Yoshi would be jealous.

Dark mode

Remember the Shadow Realm levels in Super Mario Bros. Wonder and Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze? Worlds in which the characters, enemies and all accessible objects are pitch-black and you have to play by feel? I love these levels because they’re visually calm and nothing distracts me from the gameplay. In my article Lost in Super Mario: how children’s games destroyed my pride, I’d already written about how I, as an old woman, was initially overwhelmed by the detailed visuals of Mario Kart 8 Deluxe. I’ve got used to it by now, but I still want to rest my eyes from time to time. And such a shadow course would also be a nice homage to Super Mario Bros. Wonder and Donkey Kong Kong: Tropical Freeze.

Drunk mode (adults only!)

Imagine cruising along the infamous Rainbow Road at about twice the legal blood-alcohol level. The multicoloured, sparkling cobblestones flicker before your eyes, you fly out of every second bend – and somehow, you don’t really check which lap you’re actually on, because lap indicator Lakitu is also off his nut, almost tumbling out of his cloud.

Admittedly, it’s a wild idea. After all, don’t drink and drive! But perhaps this is precisely why a drunk mode would even have an educational value. As a feature for Mario Kart, I imagine it to be funny. Especially if you’re not in the mood for a cup hunt, but want to experience something absurd.

Mario Kart Maker

I. Want. Loops! And really crazy ones at that. Loop. Until. I. Drop. And that’s why I think it’s time for a Mario Kart Maker, allowing you to create your own courses. After all, Mario Maker has shown that the whole thing works well. The game was released for the WiiU back in 2015, giving gamers the opportunity to create their own levels. So why not develop a similar feature for Mario Kart? I think it’d be great – and it’d also relieve me of my frustration that the expansion pack for Mario Kart 8 Deluxe included a lot of old racetracks. Although this is typical for the game series, I found it disappointing. Especially as the route pass also cost money.

What features would you like to see in a new Mario Kart? And what do you think of my suggestions? Let me know in the comments!